Elephant in the Room: more than 13 reasons to Discuss

Elephant in the Room

I’m sitting here talking to Tripp Morris, father and coach of Hampton Morris.  We are at the Youth Pan American Championships in Cali, Colombia.  We’ve had a great conversation about life, politics, and a little weightlifting sprinkled on top.  One topic that we discussed was the challenges experienced from children in our school system.  There are some things that need to be said, and these things need to be discussed and dealt with. 

Last night, I watched the first episode of “13 Reasons Why” on Netflix.  I am going to warn you right now about his show.  If you don’t want to deal with some very real issues that our children are dealing with in school, then don’t watch this show.  It’s going to force you to think about these issues, and it’s going to show you the extremes that can happen.

These topics aren’t totally new to the world.  Yes, cyber bullying is new, but all the other topics have existed for a very long time.  I’m talking about topics like:

·      Bullying

·      Spreading gossip that ruins the reputation of fellow students

·      Cliques

·      Socioeconomic groups that verbally abuse each other

·      Drugs

·      Rape

·      False accusations

As a father, I am scared to death for my young children coming up in this world.  I am not talking about them dealing with the new world involving the Internet and social media.  Yeah that stuff worries me, but I am talking about the very things that I had to deal with as a youth.  I am not the only one that dealt with bullying and the shear harshness of classmates.  I have several friends with similar stories, but no one wants to talk about it.  We all just want to move on, pretend it didn’t happen, and continue on with the image of a perfect life.

Let me be clear, no one has a perfect life or family this side of heaven.  Humans are just a mixed up lot, and we are not going to get it exactly right.  We simply live in a world filled with divorce, depression, violence, infidelity, and million other shortcomings.  I think it’s time that we quit pretending, and it’s also time that we started dealing with a few of these shortcomings. 

I want to start with the situation that our children are dealing with in the school system.  Yes there is bullying, rumors being started, and children being shunned by classmates, but there is something that is much more concerning for me.  I am talking about teachers that know these things are going on, or worse, teachers that are a part of it.  It happens way more than any of us would like to admit.  There are just too many teachers that are in the school system for all the wrong reasons. 

Bullying was prevalent in my high school growing up.  Seniors would make freshmen push pennies down the hallway with their noses.  Upper classmen would give wedgies, swirlies, and stuff underclassmen into lockers.  I witnessed teachers laughing at these poor children along with the students performing the abuse.  If you think that this is funny, you have a sick sense of humor.  You don’t need to be teaching.  As a matter of fact, you need help.

I was the student that refused this abuse, which meant that I was forced to fight the upper classmen.  I remember spending sleepless nights in anticipation of the next day’s abuse.  No 14-year-old child should have to deal with that.  When we send our children to school, we trust the teachers with the safety and well being of our children.  Unfortunately, all to often we are sending them to teachers that never grew up, so they are accepting this behavior as the norm and even becoming a part of the Dark Age rituals. 

I remember fighting with an upper classman as teachers stood around and watched while cheering on their favorite student.  High school isn’t boxing class.  It’s a place of learning, or at least it is supposed to be.  The thoughts of my boys having to deal with such issues breaks my heart, and I refuse to allow this to go on.

It’s not just bullying and fighting that scares me.  It’s the way that cliques make people feel outside of their group.  Then we have wealthier students making fun of less fortunate students.  Heaven forbid the rumors and bullying that goes on with social media.  I have watched some of my female athletes come into the gym with what looked to appear ruined lives.  Of course as adults, we know that it’s not the end of their lives, but they don’t know that.  Their little hearts are broken because another kid or group of kids decided to spread rumors on Facebook, or to bully them in their direct message world.

Lately, we know all to well about the drugs, date rape, and other appalling things that are happening in our schools.  So how do we solve this?  How do we limit this?  It starts at home, and that’s the bottom line.  As parent, we have to stay involved.  There is no way that I am not checking up on the social media of my two boys until they are out of my house.  They are my boys, and they are my responsibility given to me by God.  How can I teach them if I don’t know what’s going on?

I am going to shoot you straight here, so I hope that I don’t offend you.  When you say that you don’t have to check up on your child because you trust them, that’s a naive statement.  What if your child is being bullied, and they are embarrassed?  What if another adult is manipulating them?  Guys we need to know what’s going on with our children.  If you are a parent, that’s your number one priority.  We can’t get too busy to parent. 

Yes we need to develop trust, but that comes with time.  We need to teach our children to come to use with issues.  We also need to open our eyes and be observant.  If something appears to be wrong or off with your child, then it is safe to assume that it is.    At that point, we have to take the time to sit down with our children without distractions and have a talk. 

We need to teach our children about all of these topics.  Man I get it.  I am busy too.  Life is more distracting than it has ever been in the history of the world especially with social media.  That does not mean that we have an excuse to ignore our babies.  We have to teach them about bullying, sex, drugs, and simply how to treat other people.  Don’t assume that your child will always be the victim.  For every child getting bullied, there is another child doing the bullying.  That means all of us have a chance that our child is the bully.  That’s a problem, and that’s something that we need to deal with. 

When a child becomes a bully, normally something has happened at home to cause the child to act out on other children.  Not only do we need to teach them better behavior, but we also need to find out and correct the actions at home that are triggering the child to bully. 

Personally I don’t want my children to become victims nor do I want them to victimize others.  Children deserve a safe place to go to school.  When a child commits suicide, we have failed as a society to protect that young person.  We have ignored signs.  We might have been more of a direct cause.  The bottom-line is that we need to get better as a society. 

Teachers have to start teaching.  You are not besties with the students.  You are there to teach them and protect them.  Do your dang job!  Parents have to start parenting.  We have to teach our children at home.  We have to stay involved in their lives.  We have to stop ignoring signs.  Do your dang job! 

Students, you have to be kind to one another.  You will find much more joy with inspiring and elevating others.  Don’t let friends pressure you into being mean to classmates.  The world would be such a beautiful place if we simply spent time loving others.  God has been telling us that for all eternity, but we have to grasp it to understand the power of love.  I suggest spending a day or a week being kind to others and loving others.  You will be amazed the impact on your own psyche that you will experience from simply being kind to other people. 

Anyways, I am not sure if this short blog will do anything to change the world, but at least I have said it.  Even if I die, my boys will be able to read it.  Our children deserve a safe place to study and grow.  Let’s work together to provide just that.

A New Era: "And so it begins"

A New Era

“And so it begins”

Next week is the Youth Pan American Championships to be held in Palmira, Colombia.  I am excited to lead my three boys into their first International Competition.  I have:

·      14-year-old Morgan McCullough

·      16-year-old Ryan Grimsland

·      16-year-old Jared Flaming

This group marks a new beginning for our team.  We have a whole new culture that we have all developed over the last year.  Hunter Elam was just talking to me the other day about the changes.  She said that she gets nauseas thinking about the way it used to be, and I have to agree.  Yes, we had great athletes, but there was no camaraderie. There was jealousy. Athletes were bad-mouthing each other.  This was all my fault.  I was more concerned about growing this unbeatable team than I was about nurturing the team that I had.

Coach Sean Waxman was the one that called me one night and told me what I needed to hear.  He told me that I had to change my athletes or change my athletes.  This meant that I needed to get things under control, or I needed to cut some of the issues.  A little bit at a time, I was able to handle this leaving me with the most incredible team to date.

It was this youth and junior team that led the way.  I know that this is not the way that it normally happens, but in this case it was exactly what happened.  These young men and women love each other.  They support each other down to the last man.  It’s not only the onsite team.  We have some significant additions around the country like Nathan Clifton (Missouri), who’s on his way to his second CrossFit Games and is a great weightlifter as well.  We have Kobe Thomas (also Missouri) a great Junior Weightlifter that is moving out to North Carolina in a few weeks.  Jacob Hamby (also Missouri) is a former Team USA Youth Weightlifter, and he’s the one that started it all with my Missouri boys.  Jacob is also a great CrossFitter.  Jared Flaming is my newest Online Athlete, and he’s on his way to the Youth Pan American Championships.  Jared is from California, and trains with Mash OG Jordan Cantrell. 

Some people give Online Training a hard time, but they should see how my boys and girls interact.  When they come together for training camps or competitions, you would swear that they are family.  They are inseparable.  Not only are they close, but also the families are close.  It all started with Jacob Hamby’s family.  I feel like they are my extended family.  Without a doubt there is a place in my heart for that family that could have only been formed by God. 

We are working on our first Mash Affiliate in Missouri as we speak, and I can’t wait to spend some quality time out there.  The point to all of this is that we have created something special.  I say ‘we’ because I didn’t really plan this.  It just kind of happened.  The young boys and girls did most of it.  They text and snap chat (or whatever it is that they do) on a daily basis.  They pick nicknames ‘lil ounce and big ounce, which I have no idea what either mean. 

There is so much more that has happened to form this community like families open up to each other.  Crystal McCullough (Morgan’s mother) and Jessica Grimsland (Ryan’s mother) both have opened their homes to our athletes as they visit Mash HQ in North Carolina.  On the other hand, Michelle and Sam Clifton (Nathan’s parents) had Ryan at their home for a week leading up to the CrossFit Games Teenage Online Qualifier. 

I ponder the formation of this National alliance on a daily basis. I just chalk it up to being a God thing, which puts it in the hands of all of us to make sure the whole thing is glorifying the Him.  That’s a tall order that I take seriously.  Forming something this special is one thing, but maintaining it is another.  I don’t know of another National community like this.  It’s a special thing that we have, and I am going to cultivate it and nurture it.  The good thing is that I don’t feel like that I am all alone in this.  The athletes and the parents are in this with me, which lets me know that this bond is strong.

All of this was simply to say that it all gets started next week.  Ryan, Morgan, and Jared will take their show on the road to South America.  These boys are all three strong competitors.  I am excited to see how they perform on an International level.  However I am fairly certain that all three are prepared. 

The best thing about raising athletes from the ground up is that you can prepare them properly.  They don’t have preconceived notions from other coaches that aren’t used to International competition or from coaches that don’t think the way you do about International competition.

Here’s what we’ve worked on to prepare them:

1.  Warm Ups and Order of Attempts- for the last few weeks, we’ve worked on the order of their warm ups and the order of their attempts normally three times per week.  I want them to be on autopilot in Colombia. 

2.  Philosophy of International Competition- it’s different when you are competing for Team USA.  It’s not about your PRs or American Records.  It’s about placing as high as possible and hopefully medals.  It’s not Team Mash.  It’s Team USA now.  You simply lift what’s on the bar.  You can worry about all of the other stuff when you are in America competing.  Does that mean you won’t be attempting PRs?  Not necessarily!  If the situation calls for a PR, then that’s what you will do.

3.  Nutrition- They all know that the food will not be the same.  If they’re picky, then they will need to bring their own food to eat like waffles or protein powder. 

By now, they are all used to making attempts.  All three of them average between 4-6 for 6 in their competition attempts, so they are used to succeeding.  Success is something that you practice.  I don’t want them to surprised or relieved if they hit their openers.  I want them to be surprised if they miss their final attempt and only go 5 for 6.  There is a huge difference in these two mind sets, and this is something that nurtured from the very beginning by good coaches. 

Everyone that knows me understands that I have been waiting on this moment for quite some time.  This young group of men and women has helped change the culture of Team Mash from the ground up.  They have formed this National Community all on their own, and I am simply blessed to be a part of it.  Next week begins this new era of Mash Athletes at the International level.  I hope that all of you will pray for these young people and join me in congratulating all of them for making their first Team USA.

If you want to partner with us in supporting this team, we are a non-profit 501c3.  Our mission is helping these athletes reach their goals and working with at risk youth in our community.  You can donate to the team here:

https://www.mashelite.com/donate-to-the-team/

There are benefits to donating that are explained by clicking on the link.  We don't want anything for Free.  We just want to help these young people crush it.

When It All Comes Together

When It All Comes Together

Why do I coach Olympic weightlifting?  I ask this question to myself quite often.  I mean from the outside looking in, I might appear crazy.  There isn’t a lot of money in the sport especially the way that I do it.  Heck I pay my top athletes.  My company funds the majority of the expenses for my weightlifting team.  All of this sounds pretty bleak, but this past weekend in Overland Park, Kansas, I was reminded of the reason that I coach this amazing sport.

Weightlifting is the most complex sport that I have ever been a part of.  It’s gymnastics performed with a heavy apparatus that is moving.  It requires strength, speed, mobility, kinesthetic awareness, balance, courage, perseverance, and a tenacious work ethic.  Most athletes that think they like the sport, quit early on, when they find out what it really takes to succeed. 

This complexity is what draws me to the sport.  I am blessed to coach some of the most focused athletes in this country.  My athletes don’t have to be told to show up to the gym on holidays.  They are telling me that they need to train on holidays.  Their desire and determination is the very thing that makes this whole process so personal to me.  My athletes are focused on Team USA, and most of them have a goal of making the Olympics one day.  When an athlete trusts me with these marvelous goals, I take it very personal.  If they are going to trust me with their hopes and dream, I am going to do my very best to help them achieve these goals.

No one knows better than me, how precious these early years are to my athletes.  For most, you have until you are around 30-years-old, and for some maybe 35-years-old to make these dreams into a reality (yes there are a few outliers, so don’t get mad).  I know all to well how quickly those years will come and go.  In a blink this moment in time will vanish right before their eyes. 

I can’t promise that any of them will make it to the Olympics.  At this point in my life I know that it isn’t really about the end result.  It’s about the process and knowing that you did everything possible to make your dream a reality.  I remember the burning desire in my gut to be the best.  I know that my athletes have that same burning.  My goal is to make sure that each and everyone on my team will be able to look back at their lives and know without a doubt that they did everything possible to obtain their dream. 

The team that I coach is without a doubt the most focused team that I have ever coached.  That makes the results from Senior Nationals even more exciting.  Last weekend each member of my team accomplished something important towards his or her goal.  Tom Summa made an incredible comeback after a year off from the sport going 5 for 6 and totaling 314kg earning a Bronze Medal. Rabbit took 5^th in the Snatch and took a crack at a medal.

Hunter Elam became the athlete that we’ve all been waiting on.  She worked incredibly hard for me communicating weekly and sometimes daily to the point that we dialed her in darn near perfectly.  She took home the Bronze overall in the 69kg category, but there is so much more in the tank for her.  She is ready for something much bigger, and now I know that mentally she is more ready than ever. 

The night before Hunter competed, I was tossing and turning more than I ever did for myself when I was still banging it out on the platform.  I have known for a while that Hunter could be the best 69kg female in the country.  I just needed for her to make some lifts and get a glimpse of what she is to become, and she did.  She really did.  She competed and battled right up to the final clean & jerk. 

Man that’s why I coach weightlifting.  It’s my art to the world.  It’s my way of making this cold and dark world seem a bit brighter.  I took an athlete that has been struggling, made a few changes, and voila an improved performance.  Hunter’s performance is like a sculpture that isn’t quite complete.  There is more work to be done before it’s a masterpiece.  However just like a determined artist, I am back in my studio with a desire to compete the masterpiece.

It was the same feeling of accomplishment watching Nathan Damron battle for his first Gold Medal in the 94kg class with a hurt neck and shoulder.  He gave it his all to Clean & Jerk 190kg, while grimacing in pain.  Normally that is a warm up for Nathan, but on this day it took a tremendous amount of heart to stabilize that enormous weight overhead.  I can’t tell you how proud I am of him.  He has grown up so much in the past year.  I know that this young boy has grown into a focused man, so the world of weightlifting needs to be on the look out. 

I have to mention 32-year-old active fireman, Dan Koppenhaver, pulling off a lifetime PR Clean and Jerk of 187kg in his first National meet back from a shoulder injury.  It was the last lift of the weekend for my team, and it was the perfect ending consummating the greatest weekend of weightlifting ever for Team Mash Mafia.

Everyone walked away from the weekend with some major wins and some things to work on.  No one bombed out so that’s always a win.  This past weekend is the very reason that I coach the sport of weightlifting.  I was a small part of putting several smiles on the faces of my athletes, and there is nothing like those smiles on their faces at least for me.  Those smiles warm my heart and remind me why I do what I do. 

Now I am off to the Youth Pan American Championships in Colombia, South America being held next week.  We have three young men competing for Team USA in their first ever International Competition, so I am excited to see how they perform on the big stage.  I am confident that they will all kill it. They are prepared and ready, so we will soon find out if it all comes together one more time.

By the way we dropped our latest EBook "Squat Science", which breaks down every aspect of the back squat.  You can check it out at:  www.mashelite.com/squatscience/ !