Surviving Cancer

Surviving Cancer

Today my father-in-law Rick “Poppy” Taylor received his first haircut in over 21-months.  When my wife Emily Drew and I announced that God had blessed us with our second baby, Poppy committed the same thing that he did when Rock Mash was announced.  He vowed not to cut his hair until their first birthday, and then he would donate his surrendered locks for a wig to be used for cancer patients.  So why did he do this?

This is where the story really starts.  Emily Drew was the first and only love of my life.  As a matter of fact, I was pretty much the worst man in the world to any woman that I ever came into contact with before her.  I met Emily Drew as God was beginning the process of changing my heart.  I am confident that it was this change that has allowed me to love her with such vigor.  However there was one more thing that God allowed to make sure this love would never end.

Two days before we were to wed, we were told that Emily Drew had a rare form of uterine cancer that had spread to her lungs.  Can you imagine the bombshell that was to her?  She was planning a wedding, and now she was in a battle for her life.    I didn’t know what to do.  I reacted like I had my whole life.  I was mad at the entire world.  A part of me was mad at God.  I know that was crazy, but I am just telling the story.

We started her treatments the very next day.  The day before our wedding, we were at the Wake Forest Baptist Oncology Center, so that they could run a poison through her veins in hope that the poison might kill the cancer.  That began the battle for my love’s very life.

We were married the very next day, and she looked as beautiful as ever.  Our wedding was incredible filled with dancing, laughing, and the love of our family and friends.   It was a beautiful day on the farm.  The sun was shining, and everyone was happy.  However inside there was something looming that I knew would have to be dealt with, the battle for my new bride’s life.

Our honeymoon was amazing.  We spent ten days in Key West.  We loved on each other and enjoyed the sunshine.  When we got back, the battle begun.  The Chemo would suck the energy from Emily Drew.  She would just lie on the couch and try not to vomit.  I was busy a lot trying to pay the bills and start our lives together. 

It was at night when the world was quiet that I would really face the immense battle that my incredible wife was waging.  I didn’t sleep a lot those days.  Mainly I would just hold her the whole night through praying until I would finally drift off.  What was the prayer?  Well it was pretty much the same prayer every night.

Me to God:  “Dear Lord please not now.  I have waited my entire life to find someone that I would always love.  I have waited my entire life to find someone that I could marry and honor as You have commanded.  I am powerless.  I know that now.  You are the only one that can save her.  Please don’t take her from me.” 

Time went on, and it appeared that she was getting better.  Then the second bomb was dropped on us.  The doctor informed us that Emily Drew was getting worse, and they were forced to try a more aggressive approach.  It was the first moment that I faced the possibility that she might die.  I was destroyed inside.  I mean I was absolutely destroyed.  It was the first time that I saw Emily Drew cry, and my heart was ripped in pieces at that moment. 

We were meeting my best friend, Kevin Jones and his family at Polly’s Island, SC the same day that we received the terrible news.  I was in the ocean with Kevin riding the waves like we had done so many times since childhood.  Then I looked onto the beach at my wife lying under an umberella, she loved the sun by the way, and I lost it.  I burst into tears, and my friend held me until I was over it. 

Now for the good news!  After a year of dealing with this monster, God cured my wife.  Thank God it was a form that is very unlikely to ever come back.  I often wonder if God allowed this to happen so that I would learn right away the gift that He was giving my in her.  I hope not, but if so, it worked.  Not a night goes by that I don’t look over at my wife and thank God for this amazing creature lying beside me.  My boys will grow up in a home with a dad that loves their momma.

What’s the moral of this story?  I am not sure really, but if you are married, kiss your wife every night before you go to bed, let her win arguments, clean the kitchen, and take out the trash.  Guys love your wives like there is no tomorrow because someday there won’t be one.

I love you Emily Drew, and thank God for answering my prayer.

From a Burning Car

From a Burning Car

I am writing this minutes after helping two other men pull a lady from a burning car.  I was in my home watching Lasha Talaxadze become arguably one of the greatest weightlifting heavyweights of all-time.  Then out of nowhere, I hear a massive boom as if a bomb had gone off.  I rushed to look out the door, and I saw what appeared to be a crash.  I jerked my shoes on, grabbed my flashlight, and ran towards the road. 

When I arrived on the scene, a sweet little African-American lady was trying to get away from her burning car.  There were two other men on the scene, so we dragged the lady from the car and out of the road.  Her right lower leg had a massive gash that was bleeding, so I took my coat off and applied pressure to the wound.  Then the car ignited even more, and I just knew that it was going to explode.  I have probably watched too many movies as I was anticipating a small nuclear blast.

This scared the daylights out of me, so we drug the lady farther away from the scene.  I felt so badly for the sweet lady as she was screaming in pain.  All that I could think about was what if this was my wife or mother laying in the middle of the road.  Then the thought dawned on me, “was there someone else in the car?”  I asked the lady if she was the only one in the car, and she told us that she was the only one.  I am honest in saying that I was thankful because I was scared.  I didn’t want to get killed trying to save someone else, but I was going to do it.  Not because I am some hero, but because that’s what people do in times like this. 

This article isn’t really about that.  It’s about looking in that sweet lady’s eyes as she lay in the rain with a bleeding leg and broken ankle.  She looked so scared and sad, and my heart broke for her.  I just wanted to hold her, and all of a sudden in that moment color no longer existed.  It was a sweet old lady probably someone’s mother, sister, or grandmother, and some buys just trying to help her.  I sit down beside her and applied pressure to her leg with my coat, and I just talked to her trying to bring her comfort.  I just wanted her to be ok.

Soon help arrived, and the three of us helped the EMTs and the Police get her stabilized and into the ambulance.  During my short walk back to the house, my heart was broken for the world.  I thought of all the hate in the world inflicted on others because of a different color of skin.  I felt a pain that crushed my heart, and made me sick to my stomach.  I can only imagine the hurt that God must feel when He looks down on the world. 

This little lady had the sweetest brown eyes that seemed to glow in the night as they reflected the lights of the flashlights.  Her face had glimpses of a life filled with love, loss, happiness, and defeats an American Tale that so many of us share.  We all have stories.  We have things that we are proud of, and we have things that we regret.  Some of us have success more than others, but one thing for sure we’ve all lived in the same world.

Within this world we encounter people that aren’t the same as us.  Some have different hair than others.  Some have different skin.  Some are tall, and some are short.  However tonight I realized that there is one place that we are all the same.  When I stared into the eyes of this battered woman, I realized that we are all the same in the eyes.  Yeah some are blue, some are green, and some are brown, but an eye is an eye.  This little lady was just a little lady.

How can racism ever end?  I didn’t find the answer tonight, but my heart sure was broken for the world.  What makes someone hate a group of people because of their color of skin?  How can this still happen in 2017? 

·      Whites hate blacks

·      Blacks hate whites

·      Jews hate Muslims

·      Muslims hate Jews

·      Atheists hate Christians

·      Christians hate atheists

The list can go on and on, but no one can ever give a good reason for any of this.  It makes no sense.  Here’s a thought: people are people.  Now that’s a fact.  This little lady was no different than my own mother lying in the road beside a burning car.  She wasn’t a black lady.  She was just a lady lying in the road scared, cold, and confused in immense pain. 

During 9/11, for a split second America was united.  We were all afraid and angry, and we just wanted to help one another.  We were just people.  Then after some time, things went back to normal.  People start hating anyone different than them, and no one can ever give a solid answer for any of the hate.  I just don’t get it.

When I walked back in my home tonight, my wife was up waiting on me to get back home.  She has watched me pull the lady from the car.  I told her what happened, and then we just held each other.  I was scared, wet, and trembling, but mainly I was sad.  I was heartbroken that my children have to grow up in a world filled with so much hate and prejudice. 

You know God gives us two main rules to live by:  Love Him with all our heart, and Love others like we do ourselves.  That just about sums it all up.  If we could just focus on these two things, none of this mess would ever happen.  He doesn’t say to love others that look like us. 

I am not sure if any of these words mean a thing to any of you, but I needed to say them.  I pray that lady is ok, and I hope that her hospital room is filled with loved ones.  I pray for a world filled with people that simply love each other.  I pray for a world that is color blind. 

All of us strive for a better life.  All of us want to see our loved ones safe and happy.  All of us want to be happy, and we want our families happy.  We all have good times and bad times.  These similarities are a good place to start our new focus.  Instead of thinking so much about our differences, let’s focus on these similarities.  I’m not saying that we will always agree on things.  You don’t have to agree with me.  My rights end where your rights begin.  Don’t force me to think like you, and I want force you to think like me.  If we remember these words, we can get through this life together helping each other and loving each other. 

We teach our children these lessons.  Don’t you think that it’s time that we follow those lessons?

Scene from outside my front porch.