Everyone Needs a
Voice
A few years ago, I attended my
wife’s art professor, David Faber’s art opening. He’s an amazing artist, but it
wasn’t his art that inspired me that night. It was his words, and now I am
passing those words on to you. He gave a short talk to all the attendees, and
it was there that he told us that every person should either create art or
write. He said it was a way of communicating with the future generations of
one’s family.
It struck me right away. My father
passed away in 2005, and I still long to hear his voice and to know his
thoughts. I would give anything to talk to that man just one more time. Can you
imagine if he had written blogs or books that I could pick up and read at my
leisure? I would love to know his thoughts about life, love, religion, and me.
Can you imagine? It would be like talking to loved ones past the grave forever.
When I want to talk to God, I just
pick up the bible and read. God wrote everything down for us that he wanted us
to know. That book is a lifetime of reading. I would love to have the same from
my dad and my grandmother. It’s too late for them, but it’s not too late for
all of you and me.
The whole reason that I started
this personal blog was for my children and my wife. I want them to have all of
my thoughts. Lately I think that I have swayed off the path due to worrying
about what people might think. I have a business to run, so I have to consider
what I say. However I am done with that on this blog. You guys can always go to
mashelite.com and read my articles and listen to my podcast, but this blog is
for the people that really want to know my thoughts while on this earth.
Since I was young, I have had a
desire to win. At first, it was a simple desire like a lot of kids, but that
simple desire grew. It grew in stages, and now it’s something not quite so
normal. In seventh grade, my mother met the man that was about to become her
third husband. This guy taught me to win. Sound healthy? Probably not, but it
took. I learned to win, but I didn’t learn how to lose. No matter who you are,
eventually you will lose at something. Losing should be something that you
learn from. It shouldn’t be something that defines you until the next time you
have a chance to win.
I remember the first time that the
concept of winning really took with me. I was playing basketball in 9th
grade. I was pretty good, but my friend started in my position. I was happy for
my friend, and I didn’t really mind. One day my stepdad came to practice. On
the way home he told me something profound. He said that I could still be a
friend with someone even if I took his position. He said that if someone had to
earn a starting position, why not me? It was a question that no one had ever
posed to me.
It seems like a simple question,
but it changed me from the inside. From that point on, I decided to be the
person that earned the starting position. This feeling was cultivated inside
me, and it grew as time went on. By the time that I became a powerlifter, that
feeling had become more like an obsession. No longer did I just want to win,
but I wanted to be the best in the entire world. Most would think that this
desire was a good desire. If one could remain balanced, I would agree. However
that desire had taken over my entire life to the point that nothing else
mattered. Guys that was wrong!
Last night I watched “A Star is Born”
with Lady Gaga. It’s been out for a long time, but I still don’t want to be a
spoiler alert. In the movie someone kills himself or herself because they are
struggling with their career, and they feel like they might bring their loved
ones down with them. I just thought to myself, “How sad!”
Life is like a roller coaster for
most of us with a series of peaks and valleys. Athletically I peaked in my
early thirties winning the world championships and breaking multiple world
records. It was nothing like being a star musician, but I definitely could
relate to the Jackson Maine character. My entire body hurt during the pinnacle
of my powerlifting career. It was hard to focus on anything outside of my sport
like family or work. I became real familiar with my doctor as she tried to help
me through this moment with the promise that it would soon be over.
At that stage in my life, I
believed that nothing could exist outside of my sport. You were either helping
me win, or you were a distraction. I pushed my entire family away including my
daughter. I pushed friends away. Just like the characters in the movie, nothing
existed outside of becoming the best.
This is all a lie though. This is
coming from a coach that works with some of the best athletes in the world. There
is so much more to life than dominating your chosen field or sport. Each night
I come home to a beautiful family with a wife and two sons. I am working on my
relationship with my daughter Bailey, and I have a little girl that is due to
grace us with her presence any moment now. No championship or world record even
compares to that feeling I get when I come home at night. Sometimes at night, I
work late and my boys sleep with their momma. I come to bed when they are all
asleep. Sometimes I pull up a chair and just look at the bed filled with my
loved ones for hours. I thank God for gifting me with these amazing people. My
heart swells with love during these moments.
I used to talk about leaving a mark
on this world with my athletic accomplishments, but now I know that is small
potatoes. I know that I will be defined by the way I love my wife. I will leave
a mark by raising young men that know how to be men, and raising young women
like royalty teaching them what to look for in a husband someday. Coaching my
athletes to succeed in a balanced way is much more important than the things I
did when I was an athlete. My relationship with Christ is the anchor in all of
this.
Out there right now is a struggling
athlete, actor, or musician that thinks they are defined by how many likes they
get on Instagram or by how many people watch them perform. Look you are not a
circus monkey. If you want to really leave your mark on the world, then love
your significant other so much that everyone around you will notice. When
people see others truly in love, they will begin to long for amazing love
instead of settling for just whatever. You can also coach in a way that teaches
your athletes lessons about life. Coaches touch so many young men and women in
ways that will echo throughout the lives of those athletes. Just yesterday I
received this message from a former athlete:
“Hey Travis - I hope you and your
beautiful family are doing well! I’m in the throes of wedding planning and it’s
come time for ----- and I to figure out who we’d like to marry us. I want that
person to be someone who has impacted my faith. To this day, my memories at
your gym remain so dear to my heart. The environment you created afforded me
the opportunity to become better physically, mentally and most importantly,
spiritually - your gym made me light on my feet for basketball and even lighter
on my feet for running with endurance the race set before me. Your gym gave me
a village of people who lifted me up, like iron sharpening iron. One of those
people who sharpened me was Poppy. He was the closest thing I ever had to a
youth pastor. The talks he and I shared challenged me to dive to deeper depths
in my walk with Jesus. He truly walked with me, shaping my walk with Christ in
a time when I needed it most. For that reason, I couldn’t think of anybody I’d
want to marry Chase and I more than Poppy. If you don’t mind, I’d love to get
his number so I could call him and reach out to see if that’s something he’d be
willing to do!”
I miss being an athlete, but
nothing compares to the life that God has given me now. Someday when my little
ones grow up, I hope they read this and understand the thoughts going on their
dad’s head. I hope they know the immense love I have for them that I carry with
me throughout this crazy life. I hope my beautiful bride knows that I still
look at her beautiful face when I pray at night thanking our Creator for this
amazing woman before me. I hope that all of you will experience the same love,
and more importantly that you recognize the blessing being granted by such
love. Sadly, a lot of us don’t recognize until it’s too late. Please don’t be
that person.
I want all of you to go out and
chase your wildest dreams. However along the way, I want all of you to love the
people around you like there is no tomorrow because someday there won’t be.
Death is always a sad part of life, but the beauty of death is the light that it
shines on your loved ones still on earth. Win the race, but don’t forget to
inspire the world around you during each step of the way!
I encourage all of you to find your
voice. Whether you want to write or create art, don’t waste one more day. Your
children and grandchildren will thank you one day. Also it’s never too soon. I
wish I had written more during my younger years because I can’t even remember
that person anymore. I’d like to look back and try to understand some of my
thought processes. Don’t waste another second! Find your voice today!
One thing that I am trying to do is work on my Youth At Risk Program. If this blog was inspiring or encouraging to you and you feel the desire to give back, check out our Youth At Risk Page to learn more about what we are trying to do:
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