A Car Crash Clarifies All

A Car Crash Clarifies All

Yesterday was one of those eye-opening days.  I was on my way to the Mash Compound (that’s the name of my gym), just like every other day of my life.  The whole day had been spent on Mash Elite Performance (my company) business.  My head was filled with the decisions that my team had made, and the decisions that we still needed to make.

All of a sudden just five minutes before arriving at the gym, a lady in a red Cadillac SUV pulls in front of me.  We almost hit head-on as she literally just turned into my lane as if I wasn’t there.  It was so fast that I didn’t have time to hit the breaks, so I was going about 50 miles per hour making the impact feel like a bomb had gone off. 

It’s crazy how time seems to stand still during moments like that.  I felt the front wheel fly off as the front-end nose-dived into the unforgiving pavement.  At that moment I was praying that the car wasn’t going to flip.  When I finally came to a standstill, my door was jammed and the smell of gas was in the air.

We have all seen the movies where the car catches on fire, and the drive is stuck inside.  Well I wanted to get home to my family, so I moved life an NFL Wide Receiver to get out of that car.  All of this time I could only think about how close that I had just come to never seeing my family again.  I have so much to say to my boys and my daughter before I die.  I have so much love to give my wife, and Lord knows I don’t want my mom to see me die before her. 

All of this brought the memories of my competitive powerlifting days rolling back into my mind.  All that I cared about was my own glory, the next record, and my place in history.  Right around 2004 was my rise to the top.  For about two years, I was unbeatable.  I remember one interview I was asked if I would trade twenty years of my life to become the strongest powerlifter to ever live.  I answered a most definitive “yes”. 

Man was I wrong!  I hope that my children are competitive at whatever they do, but I hope that their purpose is much greater than mine was.  I wouldn’t trade one-second with my family for all the records on earth. 

Last night, my son, Rock came in our room and climbed in our bed.  He is so cute.  He does this about 75% of the time.  Each time, he brings something different with him.  Last night, he brought his Pooh Bear, pillow, and a blanket.  Some nights he brings multiple books maybe in hope that I will read them to him at 3 am.  His little mind works in such a beautiful way much like his incredible mother’s.  There is deep thought in almost everything that he does.

Last night I hoisted him into bed with us.  I turned into the bed with Rock in my arms.  I noticed that my love, Emily Drew had our newborn son, Behr in her arms.  Yes that’s four people in one bed.  A little crowded, but it was a beautiful moment for me to look over my babies and my one true love in the quiet darkness on nighttime.  We leave a small light on, so that we can navigate the room at night with two-month old Behr.  That light was all that I needed to look out over my family, and in that ever so still moment I shed a tear at the thoughts of never seeing them again.

I lied there rubbing Rock’s blond hair with one hand while using the other hand to gently touch my wife and other son.  I just wanted to feel close to the family that I was almost stripped from by death’s cold hand.  Don’t get me wrong; I am not afraid of death.  If I die, I will simply be in the arms of Christ, but my family would be without their father and husband. 

I want to be there as my children grow up.  I want to teach them about Christ.  I want them to learn from my mistakes and my successes.  I want to care for them and my wife.  Last night, I spent about an hour just watching over them and praying.  I was thanking God for giving me this moment, and yet another chance to be an even better father and husband. 

I hope that my children are just as competitive with sports and business that I was growing up.  However, I hope that they always keep things in perspective.  There are many things more important like family and loving others.  Sports can be a great way to inspire and encourage others.  If that’s your motivation, then I say win Gold baby.  If your motivation is self-glory, then you are in for a big crash every time. 

Your business can be a vehicle to help others.  You can employ other people.  Help other people reach their goals with your products and services.  You can even help point people in the direction of Christ with the way that you conduct yourself and the way that you treat other people.  Once again, it always comes down to motivation. 

Yesterday was a check on my motivations once again.  It’s always good to clarify the important parts of life.  Next time, I would prefer to simply take a day or two off to sort that out instead of a head-on collision, but God does what He wants.  For now, I am totally clear moving forwards. 

Love you guys,

Travis

A Life Weathered by the Barbell

A Life Weathered by the Barbell

I am excited about this new blog.  I am going to write about the passions of my life.  I hope that many of you can learn from my mistakes and my accomplishments.  This blog is a way of telling the story that needs to be told.  This is the story that I want my children to read, my family to read, and the people that really care about me to read. 

The last year has been filled with the evidence of mortality in this world.  My young friend Chris Moore passed away suddenly last year.  Chris was filled with visions of beauty, love, and life.  He was in search of the true meaning of life.  I am not sure that he found it, but he was well on his way. 

There have been other deaths like my friend and old powerlifting teammate Chris Clark just last week.  However it was Chris Moore that really sent my brain spinning.  It gave me a sense of urgency.  I don’t know how long that I will have on this earth.  I have a story to tell.  I have a story that I want certain loved ones to have when I am gone.  This is a story that will put me at ease when it’s completed. 

I have two young sons and a daughter that I desperately want to tell the story.  However I believe that it’s a story that all of you can learn from as well.  This is a story of a man that grew up in a life weathered by the barbell.  This story isn’t some meathead story about me pumping a barbell all day long, but the barbell sure runs parallel with everything that has happened.

I fell in love with the barbell early on in life.  I started training at 11-years-old in my local gym, “Little’s Health and Fitness”.  I learned how the barbell could be trusted.  As long as I put in the work, the barbell delivered the results that I was looking for.  That was a magical thing for a young boy use to a mother that moved him around very frequently not to mention three marriages.  She was a great mother just not so much of a wife I guess. 

I fell in love with the barbell when no one else cared about it at all.  Heck no one really knew about it.  When I talked about the Snatch or Clean & Jerk, people thought that I was talking dirty.  People told me hundreds of times to get a real job before I hurt myself.  I was never good at following the crowd, so I didn’t listen to any of them.

People talk about following their hearts all the time.  I actually followed my heart.  Sometimes following my heart didn’t lead me down a yellow brick road.   Sometimes that journey led me right off a cliff, but I would make that trek again.  Those journeys have left me with this story to tell.  This is a story of ups and downs, happiness and sadness, success and failure, and love and love lost. 

This is a real story.  I am not going to paint some unrealistic picture of a perfect life.  I am going to tell the story like it happened.  I believe that it will take years to tell the entire story.  Some things are going to be hard to discuss.  It’s going to take some time before I can actually feel comfortable telling this entire American tale. 

You can expect stories of my younger life, college life, Olympic weightlifting years in Colorado, my powerlifting years, my walk with Christ, and so much more.  I am writing this to calm my own soul.  I am not sure what will come of it, but I have never been more excited to start a project. 

Let me leave all of you with this thought.  I have never been sorry for following my heart.  I have only been sorry for the times that I didn’t.  I chased my passion for the barbell around the world.  My willingness to do just that left me with a life wrapped around the barbell doing exactly what I want to do.  I can’t promise that you will be so blessed.  However I can promise that if you don’t try, you will never find complete happiness.  You will always wonder “what if”.  That’s a terrible thing to spend your life contemplating. 

I was obsessed with learning everything possible that might help me get stronger.  That lifetime of learning is something that I can pass on to all of you.  I can take an athlete and make them great.  I can take a great athlete and make them unforgettable.  However there is so much more that I can teach.

Everyone wants to talk about the quest for greatness.  I want to talk about the ‘why’.  If you are an athlete and you don’t know the ‘why’, you are in store for a big fall.  You will hit a wall of sadness that is very hard to overcome.  It’s the purpose that makes it all worth it.  Inspiring others is the key to fulfillment.  If you are only in it for your own glory, I say get out now. 

I look forward to this journey with all of you.  I am not sure how many people will follow this blog, but I can promise that I am going to open up my life to all of you.  I hope that it leads all of you to a place of joy and fulfillment. 

Now I spend my days loving on my family, educating all of you, and coaching my athletes.  It’s a life centered on Christ.  I hope to teach my children all about Christ, and I pray that in my actions all of you will see His love.  That walk is between you and God.  It’s not something that I will try to shove down your throat.  I don’t think that I have that kind of power. 

Well that’s it.  The first blog is completed.  I am not sure how often I will publish, but I will eventually form a pattern.  I just wanted to get this one completed, so I could get this party started.  I hope that this will be an exciting and educating ride for us all.

Being in a Rut

Being in a Rut

I have been in a rut for the last year. Until recently, I’ve had very little motivation. My hip hurts all the time, and I know that a full hip replacement is coming sooner than later. My business is busier than ever. Thank God for that, I am definitely not complaining.

I’m simply struggling to train for health alone. I’ve spent my life competing. Therefore I’ve always had a competition as my goal. I started competing when I was twelve years old. I stopped competing when I was 43-years-old. That’s 31-years of having a competition to shoot for, but now that’s probably over. I say probably because there is still a part of me that wants to compete.

Why is that? Why do I want to compete at 45-years-old? I’ve won world championships and broken world records in powerlifting. I’ve played football at the D1 level. I had a short stay at the Olympic training center when I was competing in weightlifting. What more is there to prove?

The truth is that I really don’t know. It’s just a part of me that I love. I love training my butt off for a meet with the anticipation of peaking perfectly and being unbeatable. That feeling gets my goat man. However, something recently happened that really sparked something in me.

For all of you that don’t know, Emily Drew and I are having a baby girl. Yes, of course I am excited to have a daddy’s little girl, but there is something more. I have two boys that absolutely carry my heart wherever they go, but there is someone else that I don’t talk enough about.

I have an amazing daughter, Bailey Alexandra that didn’t get the best of me like by boys are receiving. As a matter of fact, there were a couple of years that I was not around like I should have been. It was during a very low point of my life both financially and personally. I had nothing to give her, and truthfully I was embarrassed. That doesn’t make it all right. That was weak of me, and it’s something that I will never forgive myself.

During that time, I became a believer, and I got my life back on track with the help of God. Now we see each other every year periodically. This led to my relationship with Undisputed Strength and Conditioning in Eagan, MN. Thanks to Vinh, the owner, I formed a relationship that involved me visiting the facility periodically each year. This allowed me to see Bailey more and more. You see I was in North Carolina, and she was with her mother in Minnesota.

I’d love to say that our relationship is totally perfect today, but that would be a lie. I will probably spend my entire life making up for that mistake. My all happened around 2006 and part of 2007. It has been over ten years, but it will take the rest of my life to mend that relationship.

So what caused this behavior? That’s easy, I was a selfish man. All that I thought about was myself. Yes I was broke and destitute, but it was my pride that kept me from giving my daughter the attention that she deserved. I didn’t want her to see her daddy in this shape. Heck she was just a little girl. She didn’t care about what I could give her except for my time.

I know that now. This is a lesson that I had to learn. It’s a lesson that I believe God taught me, and it’s one that I will never forget. This new little girl is a chance for me to treat a daughter the way that she deserves. It won’t make up for the way that I treated Bailey, but I can make sure that it never happens again.

I have learned so much since that terrible period of my life. In a world filled with people telling you to ‘love yourself’, I have found something else to be much more effective. You see, I never had any trouble loving myself. I struggled with loving others .I’m not talking about some superficial butterfly in the belly love. I’m talking about the actions of someone to put somebody else’s wellbeing before their own.

I have never been more joyful in my life than right now. I have a family that my world revolves around. I have a wife that absolutely blows me away. I would happily sacrifice anything for any of my family members. The same goes for my team and my friends. One of my goals as a coach is to never allow my athletes to travel down that road of believing selfishness is required for greatness. If so, greatness will never amount to much.

All of this brings me to my point of getting out of this rut. When I was told that we were having a little girl, I knew right then and there that I needed to get in shape for this girl to have the kind of dad that she deserves. I’m not talking about 700 pound squats. I’m talking about a health dad that can play with her in the floor whenever she wants.

The same goes for all of my children. I’m an older dad, and I know that. I am 45-years-old, so I have my work cut out for me. I have a bad hip to contend with, but we are taking steps towards mending that. Nutrition will be the focus along with cardio and movement. Don’t worry, I am going to stay strong. I’ve got that part down. It’s just not the priority.

As far as Bailey goes, well that’s a work in process. I love that little girl more than she will ever know. She’s not so little anymore, as she’s now in college and 18-years-old. I can’t believe that. We just had a great visit, but we still don’t talk like I wish we would. I will never quit trying to improve as her father as well. It’s a bit harder with her being in Minnesota, but every time that I talk to her or see her, I know that it’s so worth it.

There’s a part of me that is afraid of posting this blog. Yeah I am not perfect not even close. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. However, it’s mistakes that we all learn from and become better versions of ourselves. It’s from the low points of life that we are brought to our knees in front of a thankfully merciful God. It’s bad times like I described that allow me to love my family, team, and friends now. I figure that all of you deserve to know the truth about me both the good and the bad. Now you know that I am an imperfect human just like everyone else. These imperfections and struggles in life are what make us who we are as much or even more than the good times.

It’s imperfections along with our unique qualities that make us each a beautiful individual.