A Letter to Me in High School

A Letter to Me in High School

I’m on the last day of a 10-day family vacation, and I’ve had a lot of time to think.  Everyone needs time to defrag a bit, and it always brings out the best thoughts and ideas.  Right now we are snowed in a hotel in Kingston, Ontario.  Luckily I love my family, or I would be going crazy.  However we just took it as a chance to cuddle and play.  I did however sneak away for a run and workout downstairs, and that’s when I started thinking about my younger self in high school.

I’m sure that a lot of us look back at our lives and contemplate the good and the bad.  To a lot of people high school was their glory days.  Some might say that high school was the best time of their life.  Not me.  I liked high school just fine, but I grew up a lot more in college making it my favorite.

High school for me did land me the best friend that a man could ever ask for, Kevin Jones, so there is that.  We’ve been best friends for 32-years, and I don’t take that time lightly.  Not many people ever get a chance to have a friend like him, so it’s a real treasure to me.  He was a rock to cling to during a rough and trying time for me.  It was a time where I was really struggling to figure out exactly who the heck I was.  I guess in a way we all where, but it was a real struggle for me. 

This blog isn’t about my struggles.  In this short blog I am explaining the things that I would tell the younger me.  My hope is that other young men and women that might read this will learn a thing or two.   It’s also to my young boys that are yet to experience school at all.  I want them to be better young men than their dad was. I mean really our past is useful if we use it to help others.  It kind of makes the bad not so bad.

This letter is also to my classmates.  I think of you all a lot, and some of you deserve apologies from me.  I hope that my boys will grow up respecting women.  I’ve learned that lesson, but it took me about 34-years to learn.  I wish that I could go back to my younger self and tell him, “Women are amazing creatures created by God Himself.  They deserve respect.  They deserve to be heard.  Heck if you put your ego aside, you will learn a thing or two from women like your future wife.  Truth is that most women are smarter than you anyways, so respect them.”

I had a few female friends, but for the most part I was simply looking at them as objects or sport.  Sad really!  I wasted so much time and energy on all the wrong things.  I could have cultivated lasting relationships with some amazing people.  For a small school we had some really smart people.  I would love to have taken them to get coffee and learned more about their hopes and dreams.

I would also have taken more time out to inspire and encourage others.  I was an athlete and one of the popular kids whatever that means.  I wish that I would have sat down with the boys and girls sitting by themselves and just taken the time to listen.  I can look back now and see some of the faces of the loners walking down the halls, and those faces looked sad, lonely, and angry.  What if I had taken the time to just listen?  What if I had simply let them know that someone in the universe cared about them?  Would that have changed their path?  Would that have made them smile?  I will never know.

What if I had stopped people from being bullied?  Look bullying is something that needs to stop, and it needs to stop now.  If you want to stop some of these school shootings, then start by addressing the bullying that goes on.  You know what’s crazy is that there are teachers that know it and sometimes help perpetuate the behavior.  That’s wrong and in my opinion that’s criminal.  Bullying sometimes ruins kids childhoods.  Let me tell you one thing right now. If someone bullies my boys, hell will have no fury like this papa bear.  God help the kid and the parents of the kid.

I just wish that I had taken the time to stop that mess.  If you are an athlete reading this, use your status as an athlete to end bullying starting right now.  Being a star athlete is of no value if you are not using that status to inspire and help others.  I’m telling you that as a three-time World Champion Powerlifter.  If you aren’t doing good with your accomplishments, you are wasting your time.  I wasted a lot of time. 

The high school me had the opportunity to help the athletes on my team that weren’t as driven.  I could have inspired them to be better.  I could have pointed out their other talents that were way cooler than football.  My friend David wasn’t the best football player, but dang it he went to West Point and the last I heard he was working for NASA.  I’d say that’s a lot cooler than scoring a few touchdowns.

Guys you have one chance to do this thing right.  I didn’t and I regret it.  If you are a young man, respect women.  If you are one of the cool kids, take time out of your day to love on and encourage the not so cool kid.  You might very well change the direction of their entire life just by showing them that someone cares.  Don’t tolerate bullying for one second.  I suggest you all take the time to encourage and inspire others every chance you get.

To my old classmates, I miss a lot of you more and more as the years go on.  I think of you all almost every day nowadays.  I wish that I could see Chris, David, Richard, Anthony, and Kevin at least one more time to tell them how much they mean to me.  I wish that I could see Tamar, Celena, Pam, Heather, Hillary, and Shannon to tell them how much I wish that I had just hung out with them, talked to them, and listened to whatever was on their hearts.  I pray that raise my young boys to be much better.

I didn’t name everyone of course, but this is to you all.  Love you guys and gals and I hope to see you someday soon.  To Charles, I will see you on the other side soon Brother.

The more I write, I realize that all of this would have been accomplished if I had come to know Christ a little sooner.  However, Christ  allows us to walk these paths to have stories to share.  I walked a dark path, so hopefully some of you won’t have to.  See you all soon!

P.S.  Tamar are we ever going to have a reunion? 

KJ and I! 32-Years of Friendship!